My Recent Feelings....

As this is the space to express myself, i would like to start sharing my most unforgetable feelings which had poured in my heart and my mind in the beginning of this month...

It was about 5th or 6th of May...

I wrote something that was enough to express my emotions, my feelings, my thoughts...
After i have read some book in my school library...

Outside, you see me smiling like a baby,
And floating through each day,
A little tired, a little thin, a little restless, a little dumb,
But overal, Fine...

But you don't hear my aguished thoughts
which surface every night like devils...
They plauge me, haunt me, torment me,
'Til I am too weak to fight...

And so, next day, I came to school,
With deeply heavy body and shadowed eys,
I smile, laugh and speak normally,
Haha... Living a pack of lies...

A silent scream echoes inside,
Reaction to my lie -
'Til with no warning, it erupts,
And I crumble down and cry soundless deeply in my weaken heart...

Oh, come find me, help me, my dear, make it stop,
No! Keep out! Go away! As far as you can...
For if you come,
I have no control,
over the words I say and the thoughts i express...

Can't you hear my silent scream,
Decipher what I hide?
So please come and kindly ask me,
"What's wrong?",
Come sit down by my side...

If nothing else please read through,
This tangled web I weave,
For you are really my guiding light,
which has abandon me for quite a period...
Please hold me! Let me cry freely and say to me,
"Somehow, you will make it right."...

Perhaps, deep down, I know what's wrong,
What keep me up awake,
What is the source of my tears,
And the origins of my... Heartache...

But not yet can I feel it,
Or maybe I just know it,
Please someone help me understand,
The Universe only knows I don't...

This was the sentences that really expressed my feelings... Anyway, I am a lot better of all the feelings that i had before... Just that I want to share my deepest heart to people who know me or about to know me... But from the things happened throughout this month, will be the most of this year which has taught me to be more realistic and understand more about "what life is"...

Some of the phrases above maybe familiar to some of you who read enough, which i have used some of them that they really suits my feeling...

I hope and I really hope I can go through all the obstacles of my life... which i must achieve my goals of my life...

FEEL GOOD... And thank you for spending time reading my thoughts... I appreacite it... :)

And, Be Happy Always... For you, for my family, for others and for myself...