Days going on like normal, May's already gone by the calender; my mind's still wondering on the canal which leads to the spirit tunnel.
I am not sure what am I doin' for I am a bit lost right now. Hoping to see the little twilight, even it's fully surrounded by the darkness.
No ticking sound from the analogue clock on my dashboard, but only my typing noise and the buzzing of the air-conditioner. Trying my best to express my immediate feelings now but to no avail.
Lots had happened in this recent months, and lots to expect for the next. There's still a little more to do, yet it feels like pinnacles to climb.
At times, I doubted myself, if I really deserves what I am getting. My self-esteem's reach its edge, a bridge must be built for its crossing.
Faith is the thing that I need, and zeal is what I must have. Only if I can hang on and proceed, then there will be no regret left.
I know poems always have rhymes, but i am not even trying to rhyme my words, as I know that many times, I am just writing words...
Days passed by, deadline nearby, oh, ideas please come by, before Chance say bye bye.
Life before me, the times I need to read, for my goals are there, which write me the destiny.
Perhaps, my mind is twisted, because of the useless tempted; I have to be strong and still, to avoid my heart to be killed.
Many have asked me, why do I choose this route; like a feather in the endless sea, where is the destination I cannot see.
Passion is the answer I have, which many would say I am mad, despite the past i have had, waste no life with what is left.
Oh, mighty God, Universe or who ever You might be, the strength and the inspiration is what i need, to spell out the essence of my life goal, and to let others inspired of what's in me.
不到两个小时，我到达了Alor Setar。站在陌生又有一点熟悉的车站上，我毫无方向的到处乱走，问一问路人 Alor Setar 的购物广场在哪里。我完全没有头绪要到哪里去散撒心，找回写作的灵感。过了整半个小时，我才决定到 Show Parade 去走走。
我搭上那我已久未搭的”热“巴士。由于没有空调，我只好向自己说：“算了，正所谓心静自然凉。”就这样，我呆在着酷热巴士大约15分钟才抵达目的地。在那陌生的 Show Parade 广场，我只有走马看花的把整个广场都逛了一逛。然后，就在一间保龄球场旁的一家咖啡店休息，上网。当时的我，心情无法定下来，面对着奖学金的作文题发呆，脑袋空荡荡的。为了培养我写作的心情，我只好上网看看别人的文章，同时也找回自己写作的感觉回来。待着待着，我不知不觉呆了两个小时。由于我的电脑累了，但那里有没有插头让他补充精力。我只好收拾东西，往别的地方去。
如此这般的循环一直不断的发生，不断的重复。。。 在 Jitra 也一样，只是咖啡店的地点和名字改罢了。除了我能在 Aneka 的 New Town‘s Cafe 里呆上整天，我其余的动作都没有改变。无非是为了写作文罢了，还要弄到别个州去，当真是大惊小怪，小题大做。但，这就是我，陈冠廷。
I was just an ordinary and typical Malaysian boy who blocked his imagination and dreams light years away from his mind. But, I had changed my attitude until I found The Secret – The Law of Attraction. It really lifted up my imagination and inspired me a lot.
Before 2008, October, I had never thought of studying overseas just after my high school. I started to change my mind set while I saw my buddy, Ghoon Hoong had gone all out to fight for his dream to study in the United Kingdom. Then, I found out about the education system of the United States where it would be the paradise for me to discover deeply about my passion and a perfect platform for me to learn from multiracial people from all over the world. Furthermore, the most exciting thing is that the liberal arts education system provided there and I was glad that I found it out.
After months of thorough research and deep thinking, I had made up my mind and I told my parents that I wanted to go to the States for my undergraduate degree. I remember that my parents were surprised of my intention and felt sorry because they could not effort me to be studying there. I explained to them that I would be funded by the college or the university itself if I am admitted. I went to so many talks, exhibitions, education fairs and seminars (anything about studying in the United States.) – That’s how bad I wanted it. I found out that U.S. colleges/ universities will not accept someone merely because they got a good score on the SAT. It takes so much more like the application essays, teacher evaluation letters, school report transcripts as well as the short questions’ answers. My chance was slimmer which I was definitely applying as an international student who applies for financial aid as well. The chance of getting a place is like finding a specific needle in the Pacific Ocean. But, I knew everything it took and I used the knowledge to my advantage.
Not long ago, I met a couple of counselors who counsel students in applying to the top universities/ colleges in U.S., including Ivies. I introduced myself via email and didn’t really pay too much attention on it. A few months later, they replied me and I was really exuberant when I saw their email pop up in my inbox. It was really a gift for me. Later on, we met up and chatted about an hour long. I told them about my family financial status and I was so surprised and grateful that they promised in giving me comprehensive counseling for FREE! On that day I met them, I knew I had attracted them into my life because I had been thinking for it intensely for quite some period. I knew I had opened my path to my dream and they are the key people who would help me realizing it. It’s so COOL!
After few more months, we finalized together my shortlisted of schools that I am applying. In my heart, my first choice on my list was St. John’s College. I love it due to its unique philosophy of liberal arts education. I told everyone I talked to, new friends and old friends that I would be attending the St. John’s College. The response was almost ALWAYS the same: “Wow, isn’t U.S. universities expensive? Don’t you have to be very smart? Isn’t it hard to get in?” They would wish me good luck in a “you really need it” tone. I never let this sway me.
Before every day I slept, my e – calendar would remind me of flying to Annapolis on 2010, AUGUST 22 for St. John’s College 2010 FALL intake. I felt elated with power every time and slightly wet in my eyes. (because I could FEEL the JOY with so much intensity – how would I feel when I came to that day?)
When it came time for me to apply, I was more stressed out than I had ever been in my life, but I still continued to tell people that I would be going there. Sometimes a thought would creep in my head, saying: “What if I’ve been telling people that I am going there and then I don’t get in?” Every time I’d stop and say “No, I will not let myself think those thoughts and I would continue to imagine and feel the feeling of coming home and seeing the acceptance letter sitting on the table. I would also imagine the dramatic moment, when I would have my family and friends saying Good Byes when I am about to board the plane to Annapolis for St. John’s.
On 2010, AUGUST 22, I was in KLIA Airport waiting to board the plane to Annapolis. When I read back what I am writing today, I felt every feeling that I had felt previously in my mind – only magnified.
My parents, who have been supporting me even they did not really understand what I am pursuing, they are now here for me and waiting together with me for my plane to depart. My best buddies, who have been my spirit light to keep me enlighten and stepping on my spiritual feet, they are also here to give me Good Bye Hugs. Last but not least, even my lovely and helpful counselors are here to wish me luck. Seriously, without their support, no matter emotionally, physically, or spiritually, I would not reach where I am now by my own.
I feel so happy and grateful now that my dream has come true. I have never wanted anything more in my life until now. I have never KNOWN something more intensely. I KNOW that St. John’s College is the place for me, is my home in the States ( I guess the Universe knows too.)
